This post may trigger you.
Rape. Sexual Harassment. Yoga.
One was horrifically painful and completely confusing.
One was absolutely terrifying.
One began my healing journey from both.
The first time a man raped me I was 15 years old. I’ll spare you the details, but it continued for three years. It didn’t stop until I left town for good.
While this was going on, a different man (who was actually from my church) was sexually harassing me while the elders and pastor at my church watched and let him do it. I was 15 in this moment too.
The first time I found yoga I was 18 years old.
Yoga was this ever-flowing blessing in my life.
Yoga helped me heal. Yoga helped me shine my light again. Oh how I missed that light. It helped me love myself in ways I never imagined. Yoga helped me beat my eating disorder that resulted from those three years. Yoga helped me love my body in ways I learn about everyday. I can honestly say that yoga is the BEST thing that has ever happened to me. Yoga saved my life and that’s the truth.
This isn’t a poor me story.
This is a story of truth.
This is a story of absolute light.
For the first time in my life I was able to speak the words out loud. I was in a sacred space at my home studio and I felt safe. So I said it.
“He raped me.”
That was my first day of healing. It was like tasting freedom for the first time. It was the first time I realized how much love and support there is out in the world. It was the first time I learned that I could somehow grow from this. I could get past this and move on with my life.
Four years later, I’m doing just that.
In four years time…
I became a certified yoga teacher.
I founded my own yoga business.
I beat a fucking eating disorder!
I got my SUP Yoga certification.
I climbed many waterfalls and a volcano!
I traveled to 18 countries teaching yoga in all of them while impacting communities along the way!
For four years, I stayed on my yoga mat and loved the woman on it.
That woman has fought battles she’s not afraid of winning.
I remember years of starving myself, threatening to kill myself, surrounding myself with toxic people. I remember days of crying on my yoga mat releasing what was never there to serve me. I remember moments practicing with dear friends and seeing bursts of light shine from all of us. Hello heart openers! I remember laughter and the moment I became a yoga teacher.
I’m not here to tell you that this yoga practice can heal you after one downward dog or that we are ever done healing because we are always healing.
This healing and this practice take work.
Self love takes work.
What I’m here to tell you is that I’m on this healing journey with you. You are not alone in your healing as you have a whole wide world community of women who are healing too. I love you and so does this yoga practice. It’s here to remind you that your mat is a safe space for you to heal, to move, to laugh, to cry and to FEEL what needs to be felt.
It’s all okay or it will be soon.
Trust that and trust YOU!
I’m someone who likes to take action in the world so I’m hosting a
This retreat is for sexual assault and trauma survivors.
(Or as I call us “Super Badass Women w/ Incredible Self-Healing Powers!”)
This retreat is here to hold space for healing, to practice yoga and meditation, to swim under waterfalls, watch incredible sunsets and to create community with women from around the world.
So if YOU are a Super Badass Woman w/ Incredible Self-Healing Powers, send me an EMAIL or check out the retreat HERE.
I would be honored to dive deep into this healing journey with you!
Loving, holding & healing with you!
Founder of Xanadu Yoga
Brytta is a world traveling yoga instructor from NYC. She is a lover of glitter, SUP Yoga and climbing waterfalls. When she's not adventuring around the world and teaching yoga, she's writing about her adventures and coming up with new ways to take her yoga off the mat and into the world! When she's not doing any of that, she's outside studying constellations and making wishes on shooting stars. A big fan of discovering new sounds, her current favorite artists are: Nahko Bear, CloZee, & DJ Drez.